How to deal with depression when you have unsupportive family and friends

           Families wants to protect themselves and their mindsets by attacking and defending their family member. When someone needs a treatment of depression, families simply refuse by saying its nothing but just a feeling. People say go out and watch a movie you will feel better, without realizing that a person is going through a brain illness. For example, If a women who go through the severe depression and her family is denying the fact and putting out the argument that she does all this on purpose, to irritate everyone. She doesn’t have any friends because everyone thinks she is acting abnormal to gain attention, without being curious about her situation and behavior. Friends and families take decisions without investigating about symptoms of the illness, they think they are right even when they are wrong.

Sometimes people blame their depression on family. They made their family responsible for their condition. I believe some people have inferiority complex, where they compare their current scenarios with others and not being grateful about what they have and give themselves anxiety. Cause of this condition is our own created situations which effects our mindsets. For example, some students say my family is not giving me enough time which makes me feel depressed and not letting me focus on my studies. Some people say my parents cannot afford me a new car which makes me feel depressed.

If we stop comparing ourselves and conditions with others, we may feel better and positive. We should stop assuming the worst. If we seeing others in a good situation then us, we should take motivation from it rather get depressed. We should not allow our bad thinking takeover our mindsets, we all have that power to choose positive over negative.

          Depression exist and it doesn’t go away if you keep distracting yourself from temporary solutions. “Important part in this argument is, it is true if you go out and meet people you will feel better for time being but on the other side you also need a treatment”. Both things are mutually exclusive. You either keep distracting yourself, go out meet people or you straight go for the treatment and finished it all.

I believe “it is not mutually exclusive it has more options. If a person doesn’t want a treatment or a temporary solution he or she can go with the counseling. Where all they need to do is talking with a completely stranger and feel better, other choice would be therapy where you meet bunch of people and do yoga’s and exercise together.

                 Zero sum thinking is actually harmful way of thinking for others and us as well. A person who is going through a depression is in a gain and loss situation. Depressed person believes their loss is other persons gain. That’s why they feel hesitant in treatments and medication. People generally believe that they have no other options and choices except win and lose, their believe is one person winning making others losers. When there are more choices available but they believe on false dilemma and make their own life difficult. Some families say feeling depressed all the time is okay, just take a deep breath you feel better. That’s how everybody treats a depressed person because that’s the culture and mindset of our society.

Another mindset of people we have who actually ignore the relevant facts that depression exist and it required a treatment they act bias. For example, people know how depression takes a person towards suicide but still they ignore the fact and act non serious because they make judgment based on their experience’s and bias conditions. There are many examples we have read and seen on tv how the teenager commit suicide because their parents have never listened and noticed his or her behavioral changes, because those parents were so sure about their experiences that they ignore what is happening to their child. Usually a parent of a disturb child says my child is doing this on purpose because he doesn’t want to give exam or study, they actually judging their children based on their bias thinking, in the end they actually lose their child.

               Some families think negative about everything which actually forces them to make bad decisions. In depression families don’t see very good results because they don’t take depression seriously, that lead them to believe that depression is un treatable illness. If one person says that depression is nothing just a feeling, he is actually putting in everyone’s brain around him that never care about the people who comes to you and tells you how depressed and helpless they feel. They are actually becoming bias and promoting negative impact on others around them.

              Not everyone understands the problem of depression, it’s a long process to treat and families don’t want to involve in it to investigate. All a person needs are help. For example, medication, counseling, therapy. Families need to think that there may be a reason that has nothing to do with them. if families support their family member from depression, they are actually putting that person one step closer to a better and more fulfilled life. If that specific person cannot think this way then their families and friend’s responsibility is to convince that particular member and show them how many options they have in life.

At This Difficult Times

In this pandemic we all seem to be experiencing the same moment around the world. Doesn’t matter who you are, doesn’t matter from where I belong we all are in same fear and anxiety. We’re at a time where all can do is hope and pray, it’s time to see power of hope and faith, a hope for the greater good, a faith we all believe in.

However, this temporary paused allowed us to dig deeper into who we are as a person and reminds us of the many things we capable of accomplishing. It’s time to appreciate people who live with us, thankful for the things we have to survive and respect everyone. Social distancing does not mean disconnection, it’s a great time to connect virtually with people. By talking things out, you are allowing yourself the opportunity to understand where your feelings are coming from and how you can best face them. 

This time has taught us that everything around us is so just temporary. Life can take a turn at any point but this time it has for all of us together. Remember that things won’t always be like this. Whatever technique works to slow and calm your mind down, is a good technique.

It’s time to teach our kids how we all humans are connected and we all are same.

Positive Mind, Positive Vibes, Positive Life…!!

Photo taken by me for the blog.

Not every single day you feel positive, there is some days where you feel heart broken and disappointed, we all get bad days in our life and that’s completely okay!

It’s not important to be positive all the time but to coming out of that negative stage is a success, work on from there and it does takes time. Now the question pops up in our minds how to come out of that feeling. The very first thing is just look into your life deep inside, what’s bothering you? Your own happening’s in life or what happenings in others life. That’s a big question!! It can be harmful in both ways for your own peace.

If something bothering in our own life we can edit it by keeping good amount of patience. I believe we can fix each and everything about ourselves doesn’t matter how crucial condition we are having around at least we can make ourselves better. As I have read it somewhere “Failure is not a opposite of success it’s a part of success.” So never ever get scared of failure. Keep trying for the things you want to have in your life. GOD always provides the way; everything always works out. Be patient, sometimes we have to go through the worst to get the best.

And if others life happening’s bothering us then we need to modified our feelings immediately. Because we can only see a good picture in someone life, we don’t know any bad part about it. We all share and show only good not bad at all. If we want to understand another person, we must swim in the same water which drowned them, because nobody has easiest life every person has gone through from so much which we are not aware of. We know all the happy and sad part of our life but when we see only good in someone’s life, we start assuming that person have never seen bad or had any challenges but on the other end its completely different condition.

Every person has seen all kind of phases, life is not a bed of roses all the time. it’s a mixture of sweet and bitterness. This is about the two choices life gives every person, either you sit, sulk and dwell on how unfair life is to you, or you could try and figure out how to make the bad situation work in your favor. Don’t let the bad days make you feel that you have a bad life. Being positive in a negative situation is not naive it’s a leadership. Not all the people have that courage to stay positive in difficult situations as well, because being constructive in happy moments is not success anybody can do it but being optimistic in a situation where nothing going in a favor of you is an achievement.

Do not get upset with situation and people ever because everything is temporary, people’s reactions and situations both. If you keep that in your mind you will never ever get disappointed. The less you care the happier you will be. You are not going to be surprised real soon at how everything suddenly and miraculously worked in your favor if you stay positive.

You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s completely okay to feel sad or angry, Anxious, annoyed, frustrated or scared, having those feeling doesn’t make you a negative person it makes you a human.

You may not be able to control every situation and its outcome. But you can control your attitude and how you deal with it. Train your kind to be calm in every situation. Staying negative and keeping yourself depressed and stressed is not a smart strategy, but remain positive in hard situations is a big deal because unfortunately in the end whatever needs to happen will happen, eventually you will end up where you need to be, and doing what you should be doing.

What is broken can be mended. What hurts can be healed. And no matter how it gets, the sun will rise again, so why not stay positive and make each and every single day calm and peaceful with our own positivism and create our surroundings positive as well. Be proud of yourself for how hard you are trying.

To Be Grateful

We see many things in life which we take for granted. It can never be a big house or a big car. Big blessings always come in a little thing, like witnessing a beautiful weather, cooking a good meal for your family or seeing a clean house after a huge mess.

Took this photo at Caroline beach 2017

Always try to be grateful on things around you. Things we don’t have at the moment have a reason for not been exist. As we say is a GOD’s will.

If I do plant with my 4yr old child I feel it’s a blessing because we are spending time together from planting the seed to watch them grow. Little things do matter and I strongly believe on it. Happiness depends on your attitude not on what you have.

Seeing the sunrise is another thing to be grateful for because you are having another day to be productive, do something for yourself, help someone, if not much forgive somebody.

Took this photo at Alabama beach 2018

It’s very simple and convenient to not to be grateful for anything. We disappoint and distress very quickly and give statements like why we should be grateful for, we are not blessed for this or that but we forget the moment we are living has so many things around to be thankful for. But if you keep a beautiful heart you can feel little things keep big blessings.    

Gratefulness is a key of happiness and happiness comes from inside which makes you a happy person. Also, it can boost up your energy level, make your health good and most importantly you can sleep better. Appreciate the things and people around you.

As Anne Frank said “Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than Gratitude “.

This photo taken in Dallas Texas 2017

My habit to be thankful in life was not always there until I reached at that point where I met with some people who stay grateful no matter what they have. I always feel I am not that special person whom GOD has blessed with so many things, if he blessed me there is a reason for that too. Like you have heard always there is a reason for everything, importantly its on us to find out what we have, where we need to be thankful and what is the purpose behind our lives. I have read it somewhere if you focus on the hurt you will continue to suffer, but if you focus on the lesson you will continue to grow.

Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So, for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. Be patient everything is coming together. Whatever you are waiting for is on its way to you. When we go to the bed in the night we sleep so comfortably in our warm beds. Few days ago, I hurt my one finger and I put bandage on it so I cannot use that finger for a day. I realized how blessed I am to have my each and every body parts because I was having a hard time for using my hand, cannot feed my child, cannot even crack the egg and pour into the pan. Thankful always for what we have.

I believe if you stay grateful you will have peace on every step of your life. Always look around yourself some people keep really less but they still stay happy because they are satisfied on things they have and grateful for everything. Satisfaction is another thing you can have for being grateful. Be happy on the things you have while working on a thing you want. Being despair thinking over somebody is more blessed is extremely bad thing to do. We all are blessed in different ways.

Be thankful for everybody in your life good or bad, past and present they all made you the person you are today. Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have. Happiness is not about getting what you want all the time, its about loving what you have and being grateful for it.

The Journey Begins

Photographed taken by me for my blog

My name is Sharmeen, I am full time mommy, a wife, part time photographer, a dreamer and a newbie in this writing world. A women with lots of dreams.

Born in Pakistan, currently living in Virginia US with my little family, my husband and a 4-year-old son who is hyper, active and spoiled. I am at that stage of my life where i keep myself out of arguments even if you tell me 1+1=5 you are absolutely correct, Enjoy!!

Living in US over the years made my life changed in so many ways. There is so much struggle and hard work behind this journey till today. we had seen highs and many lows filled with compromises and sacrifices but I am happy it made us stronger every day. I am gonna talk about more on our journey in some other blog in detail.

My blog is very casual it’s about daily life thoughts and some motivations, what I have learned over the years, what are the things which have changed my lifestyle. As a stay home mom is difficult sometimes to keep yourself motivated, as you get no time for yourself. But couple years ago I realized if I don’t keep my self-going, I cannot keep my family healthy and happy. So, it’s important to take out some time from routine life only for yourself.

keeping that in my mind I started my own photography brand a year ago name Glitters PhotoGraphy. I took randoms photographs of views near my house or skies, trees, lakes if i don’t find anything so i take my son photographs. when people started contacting me for shoots, I felt excited because taking photos is my favorite thing to do. As some professional photographers whom I contacted to get the feedback said I have good camera skills ( felt so proud of myself ). I have never done any professional courses I just know the sense of colors, distance and whatever looks good on my screen. I still remember the time when I bought my first digital camera from my own earned money 10 years ago, while working part time during my college days. I have been always affiliated with cameras and pictures in my life. I believe a photograph is the pause button of life.

I took this photograph in Dec 2017 at Carolina Beach . North Carolina

Now Writing is becoming another source of happiness and me time. I am not an expert here and maybe you don’t find perfect writing skills on my blog but would love to share my views as a common person and my thoughts for the people who came here on my blog to read and get nothing but a little inspiration. As you all know being a mom is tough job and your brain doesn’t work all the time. But will try to write as good as i can. My goal is to make everything grow around me including myself.